he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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