you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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