THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
