u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ketchup is God's man juice
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
