I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
