4 words: hood of his car
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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