yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
