dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
