I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
