Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
