Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im holly from the hills drunk
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
