You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
