If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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