yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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