It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
