you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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