Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
