So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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