So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
