Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
