Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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