You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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