New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
