If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
