HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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