Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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