There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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