he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
