it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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