i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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