Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
