no, he came in my armpit
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
