So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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