We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
