he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
