office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
