So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
