when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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