Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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