discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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