You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
