Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
