If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So much Jack, so little girl.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
