is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You are a genius and a whore.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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