He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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