I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
