So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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