ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
