I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
