that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
